THE MAJOR’S LIFE BLOG

Are you ready ?  Here’s what I’m talkin’ about !

1.  It’s a cool, dark, and stormy Tuesday afternoon in Homestead. We’re still in a drought if you can believe that. We need a lot more rain than this to get ourselves out of this fine mess !

2.  My brother and his lovely wife got me addicted to the TV show TMZ while I was at their house in Texas. I watch it almost every night now. I never saw a single episode of it before my recent trip to Texas.

3.  I never realized how much I actually like iced coffee … before I started drinking iced coffee !  I’ve made the new Homestead Starbucks a Monday afternoon tradition (right before the weekly Life Pointe Church staff meeting).

4.  Irony ? - A coworker of mine standing barefoot on an old chair on top of a hard floor while updating our building’s safety bulletin board !

5.  Yesterday I picked-up the new premium fish fillet sandwich from Wendy’s, and I brought it back to work. I microwaved it (to get it a little warmer than it was), and it emitted a wonderful smell that attracted a small portion of my coworkers. They adored that smell. It probably smelled better than it tasted. It was a fine sandwich, but I wouldn’t consider it to be ‘premium’. If anything it was perhaps a bit overpriced.

6.  Watch this cool Life Pointe Church promotional video from this past Sunday morning. I’m not in this one. I told Jesse that I wanna be a lovable babyface in his videos rather than a miserable heel. Travis alleges that I have a loyal cult following at the church. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a not so good thing.

7.  Every Sunday morning at Life Pointe Church I manage to get myself in to a whole bunch of pictures, yet they never see the light of day. I challenge you to put those pictures online, or send them to me and I’ll put them on the blog here.

8.  Here’s my brother in a recent text message to me describing what he had to deal with regarding his beloved dog Buddy - ‘… on Saturday he ate grass outside then ate insect killer that I sprayed, then vommitted BRIGHT YELLOW PUKE in A CIRCLE in the living room’.

9.  My 2002 HP Pavilion laptop is dying a slow death. I can see myself buying a brand new one sooner than I thought - like before the Summer is over. I may even donate this old laptop to the church once I buy the new one.

10.  Got ‘Rock Band‘ ?  I’ll be the lead vocalist. I’m good like that !

DEJA-VU ? - You may recall that same mysterious blog entry title from a couple of months back, and there’s a good reason for that. I was sick back during the early part of May, and I’m sick again !  I’m still enjoying my vacation (back in the northern suburbs of Dallas Texas again), but I’m currently dealing with what is now my unbelievable 5TH cold in just a little over 8 months (ever since the last few days of October 2007). It’s my 2ND cold in exactly 8 weeks, and that cold from 8 weeks ago arrived just a little over 6 weeks after the previous one (during the Good Friday / Easter Sunday holiday weekend).

These disgusting common cold germs officially made their presence known inside my body en San Antonio on Tuesday July 01ST 2008, so if you’re keeping track at home this would be DAY 3 of the cold. I expect it to last through the 4TH Of July holiday weekend, but I also expect conditions to improve as time goes on. Airborne and Zicam are doing all that they can do to assist me in getting over my cold faster !

Once upon a time in an era not too long ago I used to get a cold about every 18 months to 2 or even 3 years. Now I’m working on my 5TH cold in just 8 months. Back then my rare colds lasted up to two weeks. Nowadays these colds come and go within a matter of several days.

Oh yeah - As far as that cricket is concerned - NO - I didn’t really eat one. That’s an inside-joke between me and my brother regarding one of our childhood cats. We used to have a big black cat by the name of Barney. One time Barney ate a crunchy LIVE cricket (so we think). He didn’t feel very well for a day or two after that !  Barney is long gone, but his memory shall forever live on. That catch phrase ‘I’M SICK ! I ATE A CRICKET !‘ is in loving memory to the legend of Barney the cat - the cat that never liked me but totally adored my brother.

I don’t have anything totally outrageous or downright scandalous this week - just a fun picture of the biggest dog that you’ve never seen:

… And the reason why you’ve never seen it (and never will) is because it’s an Internet HOAX !

Read more about it.

Here’s what we’ve learned (or reiterated) over the past several Thursday nights:

• Gas stations are not intentionally cheating us by rigging their gas pumps to deliver less gas to your vehicle than what is indicated.
• Circuit City, Bed Bath And Beyond, and other stores have not filed for bankruptcy, so you can continue to cash in your apparent stack of gift cards for them.
• Pictures don’t lie (unless the’re manipulated), but the stories written around the pictures can be totally bogus. What appeared to be actual inflight pictures of a horrific Boeing 737 mid-air collision at 35,000 feet over South America were actually still-shots of the pilot episode of the ABC-TV series “Lost”.

Here’s another picture. It’s a picture of a guy holding up his adorable cat - his adorable cat that is 5 feet 9 inches in length and weighs a MASSIVE 87 pounds !  Is this feline for real, or could it possibly be - an INTERNET HOAX !

Read more about it.

It’s 8:44 PM on a Wednesday night as I begin tonight’s edition of the ‘Bedtime Stories’, and I’m gearing up for a MASSIVE day at work - a MASSIVE day of meetings !  I’m actually looking forward to it, as my career renaissance continues. The past 10 months has been the best 10 months (by far) of my entire 23-year Air Force / Department Of Defense career. It goes hand-in-hand with the best 21 months of my entire Life. I look back at August 2006 as the official month of my ‘Awakening’. It’s been ready-set-GO ! ever since being reborn on God’s fantastic journey for me.

Friday kicks-off the long Memorial Day holiday weekend, and I’m not going anywhere special. I’ll be right here blogging up a storm, so hang out with me if you have no special plans that will whisk you away to some exotic land far far away with no Internet access.

Tomorrow on the blog it’s our top-rated weekly feature - the ‘Thursday Night Internet Hoax Hall-Of-Shame’. Tomorrow I promise you no long horrific chain letter E-Mail that most of us already know is bogus. Instead I bring you a picture - a picture of an adorable cat - an adorable cat that measures 5 feet 9 inches in length and weighs in at 87 pounds !  Is it for real ?  Gather up your crew and surf on over to the blog tomorrow afternoon to see for yourself !

Don’t forget about the ‘Friday Night Blogroll Review’ where I go public with my favourite blog entries of the week from my favourite bloggers that are near and dear to me. I’m pretty sure that this dude and this dude and this dude will be on there, and I’ve also reserved a spot for this girl and this girl.

So that’s what’s comin’ up over the next 48 hours here on the blog. Have a wonderful Wednesday night everyone, and until we blog again remember this:

The legend continues, as we enter the 8TH month of these ‘Tuesday Night Grab Bag O’ Thoughts’:

1. Travis sent me an ‘Untwitter’ (an ordinary cell phone text message) shortly before 2 PM from my favourite Chinese restaurant aqui en Homestead. Apparently he’s eatin’ good in the neighbourhood at the Peking House. NICE !

2.  I’m a ‘Law & Order’ type of guy - not the actual TV shows, but the simple Life concept of law and order. I wouldn’t survive in a world of anarchy and chaos.

3.  Just in time for the long Memorial Day holiday weekend - we may actually experience the effects of an extremely rare cold front here in South Florida with cool and gusty northeasterly winds coming straight off of the ocean and afternoon high temperatures struggling to get past the 80°F mark. Look for it (potentially) on Sunday and Memorial Day Monday.

4.  Tomorrow (Wednesday) is the last official day of the 2007-2008 television season. It will forever be remembered as the season that the 100-day writers’ strike interrupted. It also continued a trend in which prime time network television viewership hit all-new record lows.

5.  I have so many exciting ideas floating around in my brain for Life Pointe Church. Some of these ideas will never see the light of the day, but I think that most of them will in some way either sooner or later. I’m not alone. I hang out every Sunday morning with a whole bunch of my friends who serve, praise, worship, and love Him. They have some really cool ideas for their church. These are our future leaders at the LPC. We are going to spread the Kingdom of God here in South Miami-Dade !

6.  You think I’m old-fashioned ?  This morning I personally witnessed a late-50s-something guy (a co-worker of mine) rockin’ an electric typewriter like it’s 1972 !  He felt right at home on that thing !

7.  Speaking of the early-1970s I had two dogs when I was a little kid. Brandy was a German Shepherd, and Girlie was a sheep dog. Brandy was taken away from me in 1973 because she was digging holes underneath the backyard fence, crawling under it, and then running loose and terrorizing the neighbourhood. Girlie was taken away from me in 1975 because I was allegedly not taking care of her - as a 7-year-old. The real reason why she was yanked away from me is because of the impending arrival of my little brother.

8.  The people that complain the loudest about the rising gas prices are usually the people that waste the most gas with their lousy driving habits. Don’t throw stones at the oil man when you live in a glass house.

9.  I would see Neil Diamond LIVE in concert. Go ahead. Make fun of me.

10.  Florida Power & Light should have a roving team of technicians that fix street lights that don’t work properly. If you’re wondering why there are no lights on late at night or early in the morning on selected streets it’s because they may be on all day long instead. Sometimes it takes FPL several months to the greater part of a year to find out about these malfunctioning lights and then correct the problem. You can help them out by reporting these street lights via their official web site.

This Friday night edition of the ‘Bedtime Stories’ is brought to you by the letter ‘C’, and tonight I’ll be addressing these notable items of interest that all begin with the letter ‘C’ - ‘Cars’, ‘Cats’, and ‘Cholesterol’.

Cars - My 5-year-old car is suddenly a dream to drive in again. Earlier this week I went to Firestone and I bought 4 brand new tires for my car - nice ones too with 70,000-mile warranties. It feels like I’m just gliding along now on a thin strip of air just above the road surface. An oil and filter change, a new air filter, and new wiper blades completed the mini-tune-up. It’s my little birthday present to myself now that I’ve decided to keep this nearly fully-paid-off car for at least several more years.

Cats - 5 cats were part of my life scattered over a 23½-year period ending one year ago tomorrow morning. For many years leading up to Boots’ passing on I pretty much declared that I would go from the animal hospital to the animal shelter in a single morning to get a new cat. That didn’t happen, and it won’t happen at this time or anytime soon. Timing is everything, and in his own way Boots led me to God during his final year with me. Everything happens for a reason, and with God always by my side I will never be lonely again. Alone - Yes. Lonely - Never.

Cholesterol - Lipitor is clinically proven to lower bad cholesterol by 39% to 60% - and that’s exactly what it did to me. After 12 weeks of taking my 10 milligrams dose per day it has effectively plummetted my total cholesterol about 40% from the 220s down to the 130s !  The LDLs, HDLs, and Triglycerides were all in the desirable / optimal ranges. I’m good like that. I’m healthy like that !

And that’s how we roll with tonight’s ‘Bedtime Stories’. Be sure to check out the blog again tomorrow for more fun and surprises, and then on Sunday I’ll be taking the ‘Tossed Salad’ on the road again with a special edition coming to you from InDependence Church in Weston Florida. It’s time to check up on my 3RD-favourite Pastor again (after Travis and Paul), and see how Nathan is progressing up there with his new and developing church.

Have a safe, peaceful, and blessed Friday night everyone, and until we hang out again on the blog or in person remember this:

One year ago on this particular Wednesday night in May (it was the 16TH of May last year) I spent the final night on my living room couch with my little feline buddy Boots. Without revealing any specific details of that final night let me just state that God was certainly with me and Boots on that night, and He helped me get through it as I watched my buddy of 12½-years suffer in immense pain due to multiple diseases that had ravaged his 14-year-old body. I cried and shed tears onto his soft black hair. Boots knew that he was at the end of his Life, and he rubbed his head against me everytime my emotions got the best of me. It was as if he was trying to tell me that he would be all right, and that I would be just fine too. I think he was thanking me for loving him so dearly for all of those years, and for saving his life a few times as well.

The next morning I took Boots to the Homestead Animal Hospital, and they put him out of his misery. He passed on at 10:14 AM on Thursday May 17TH 2007 (52 weeks ago tomorrow). The staff there comforted a crying me and stated that it was my last good deed for my best little buddy in the whole wide world.

I went to my Life Group that night, but I never mentioned the death of Boots. Just being with my closest friends at Life Pointe Church at the time was all I needed to move on with my own Life on God’s fantastic journey for me.

That’s my ‘Bedtime Story’ for tonight, and I will always remember this for the rest of my Life:

You’ve been waiting about 168 hours for this to come around again, and so here it is. LIVE IT UP !

1.  We were treated with a rare mid-May cold front here in South Florida late last night. After sizzing hot temperatures approaching the mid-90s over the past several days we plummeted down to the refreshing low-60s (!) this morning, and this afternoon we’re struggling to reach the mid-80s !  I dig that !

2.  Call me crazy, but “Cotton Eye Joe” by Rednex may just be the greatest hillbilly techno smash ever made. You can watch the original 1994 music video of it via my ‘Bedtime Stories’ from last night.

3.  Last week’s ‘Thursday Night Internet Hoax Hall-Of-Shame’ became our most-read blog entry ever within about 48 hours of its posting. Many of the top search engine terms that have brought all of this big-city rush hour traffic over to my blog include the stores Bed Bath & Beyond and Circuit City - and the words ‘bankruptcy’ and ‘hoax’. Thank You fans of both of those stores for discovering my blog and realizing that it is indeed an Internet hoax. Your stores are open for business. We’re actually getting a brand new Circuit City right here in Homestead !

4.  I ate more popcorn in one sitting at Travis and Kelly’s house this past Sunday night during the “Survivor Micronesia” finale than in any other previous sitting in quite possibly my entire life and Life. I actually don’t like to eat popcorn, but once I get started with it I become addicted to it. 250 kernels of popcorn later …

5.  The grass is always greener where the sprinklers are - and where the dogs go to play.

6.  I gave blood this morning at a local medical facility in Downtown Homestead. The lady that drew the blood knew what she was doing. She had that needle in and out of my arm cleanly in no time flat. She got what she needed, and I was on my way with no pain or jaundice this time around.

7.  I wasn’t at work from 6 to 10 AM this morning, and during that time I was a wanted man. It seems that everyone needed me and nothing was working right during my absence. Lines began to form around me upon my arrival at work. I nearly had to issue out numbers on little paper tabs.

8.  I enjoyed Breakfast with my blogging brothers Travis and Phil this morning at the Cracker Barrel in Florida City (where all the food is). We mainly discussed blogging and bloggers. Travis and I agreed that LL Phil J’s blog is being subsidized by both of our blogs. It’s all good.

9.  Incidentally I totally adore eating MASSIVE meals with buddies who also adore eating MASSIVE meals. If you’re gonna sit at my table at the restuarant then you best be eatin’ good in the neighbourhood. That’s what I’m talkin’ ’bout !

10.  I’m grabbing at straws for this week’s 10TH ‘Tuesday Night Grab Bag O’ Thought’, and that begs me to wonder why would you grab a bunch of straws in the first place ?  If you’re indecisive and don’t know what to do or where to go next then just do something. Put the straws down, and seize that moment. It could be the moment that defines your future and determines how everything else will evolve from that moment forward. Know what I mean, Gene ? 

There was no walk around my neighbourhood on this Saturday morning. It was about 73°F and the relative humidity was very near 100% with lower visibility due to light fog. The South Florida summertime weather pattern has taken hold, and it will have a firm grip on us for the next 5+ months.

Last Saturday morning was the season finale of ‘The Major’s Walk-A-Thon’, and so I present to you a recap of the season that started on Christmas Eve with my TOP 10 thoughts (in chronological order):

1.  Monday December 24TH 2007 - If this were May, June, July, August, September, or October then I would have probably been eaten alive by every bug known to mankind, but this is December and it is just so refreshingly delightful outside !

2.  Tuesday January 01ST 2008 - You can tell where the party-animals live here in my neighbourhood. Their dumpsters are overflowing with leftover holiday week garbage. The dumpsters that were still able to be closed from the top are where the retired folks live … Dogs can be party-animals as well. I came within inches of stepping in some of their ‘holiday leftovers’ during my walk this morning. It was a close call !

3.  Saturday January 05TH 2008 - Walking is a great time for praying. I prayed for the residents of Homestead, Florida City, Redland, Leisure City, Naranja Lakes, and Princeton to be blessed by the Glory of God. I prayed that the believers stay strong and unwavering with their personal relationship with Jesus. I prayed that the non-believers be guided onto the on-ramp of the fantastic journey by the believers. There’s plenty of room for everyone who truly believes in Him !

4.  Saturday February 16TH 2008 -  A friend from afar recently asked me why I started this weekly walk. Besides the obvious health and fitness reasons this walk - inspired and encouraged by this fellow WordPress blogger - is symbolic of my walk with Jesus Christ. I’ve been walking with Him on His fantastic journey for about 18 months now. I was once a mannequin - plastic and rotting. Now I am alive. Since I am alive I am living Life (always capitalized) the way that I should have lived it during my previous 39 years on His great Earth. That includes throwing everything up in the air like ‘Tossed Salad’ (catch the symbolism there) and only catching the good stuff - the right stuff. A physical walk is now on my agenda to complement my spiritual walk with my Creator. No longer am I sitting still in neutral. I am now moving forward and going places with my Life. The Lord Almighty is driving me. I am merely His passenger.

5.  Saturday February 23RD 2008 - I received some disappointing news at my Doctor’s office yesterday afternoon. After numerous analyses of my blood work over the past several years he has finally made the determination that diet and exercise alone is not bringing down my bad cholesterol (LDL). It’s still in the ‘elevated’ range, and it doesn’t appear to be coming down on its own. He has prescribed Lipitor for me - 10 milligrams per day to start off with. He gave me a free 14-day sample of it to ensure that it doesn’t cause any bad side effects with me. If I feel fine after the first 14 days then it’s on to Walgreens to get my prescription filled. I take my first dosage this afternoon. This will probably be the start of daily medication for the rest of my Life. I am no longer a young buck. Apparently I am now a middle-aged dude with high cholesterol. I am facing the music.

6.  Saturday March 08TH 2008 - My semi-basic 1.4-mile walk on a rare full stomach was done so during treacherous weather conditions - with thick dark clouds hanging low overhead, strong gusty northwesterly winds of up to 25 MPH, cold air pouring in, and even a little bit of leftover drizzle on this fresh side of the powerful cold front. I will dream of mornings like this from April through October when it’s hot and sticky outside with no wind … The ducks were out and about this morning, and they appeared to be lost, dazed, confused, and perhaps even drunk. They were stumbling about, wandering around with no sense of direction, and I saw one of them nearly tumble over in a state of mass chaos. They were wondering why the weather had suddenly changed on them. Some of them probably drank too much (rain).

7.  Saturday March 29TH 2008 - Whenever I walk the walk I feel like I’ve taken back my neighbourhood. I’ve lived here for nearly 13 years, but I’ve only really lived here for the past 3 months. Before Christmas Eve 2007 the only walking I did was to and from the mailboxes and the dumpsters. From 1995 to 2007 I merely existed in this neighbourhood. Now I am fully alive. Taking back my neighbourhood from obscurity has been just like taking back my Life from the darkness. I’ve wrapped my arms around my entire neighbourhood just like I’ve embraced this new Life that God has given me.

8.  Saturday April 19TH 2008 - I may not have big muscles to show for it, but I am the most physically fit today than I have ever been in my entire life and Life. I am in far better shape today than I was during my late-teens and early-to-middle-20s when I had to run a mile-and-a-half every year in the Air Force.

9.  Saturday April 26TH 2008 - ‘The cat by the dumpster’ was there again. He looked at me with his sad yellow eyes with no fear. I think if I dropped a few morsels of tasty food by his side then he would have gobbled it all up in a split second and then followed me for the remaining mile-plus of my walk. 10 years later … 

10.  Saturday May 03RD 2008 - 2 little dogs were out for some early-morning shenanigans without their owner. I think they escaped from their patio. They were having a good ole time running all around in the street and on the grass - until they saw me !  That’s when they ran behind me and straight outta sight - probably back to where they belong. I wonder which one of those little dogs was the trouble-maker ?  Which one said to the other one, ‘Hey, follow me. We’re gonna go out and paint this town. We’re gonna go and get us into some monkey business this morning. Let’s go dog !’

Sky: Mostly Cloudy
Temperature: 73°F
Relative Humidity: 77%
Winds: E 5 MPH
Barometric Pressure: 30.02 Rising

My thoughts:

1.  It’s the first Saturday morning of May, and the walk continues. We’re enjoying an unusually cool Spring here in South Florida. Later this month the rainy season should be kicking-off, and that will pretty much bring an end to these weekly walks for the season.

2.  It was another 2.2-mile walk for me this morning, and I did it in 40 minutes flat. That’s an average of 3.3 MPH. I always feel refreshed and alive during and after the walk. I think that’s the whole point of exercising.

3.  U.S. 1 is known as the ‘18-Mile Stretch’ from Florida City to Key Largo. I’ve got the ‘18-Minute Stretch’. That’s the middle portion of my walk that takes me from the main gate of my neighbourhood, completely around its southern hemisphere, down the spine, and back to the main gate again.

4.  2 little dogs were out for some early-morning shenanigans without their owner. I think they escaped from their patio. They were having a good ole time running all around in the street and on the grass - until they saw me !  That’s when they ran behind me and straight outta sight - probably back to where they belong. I wonder which one of those little dogs was the trouble-maker ?  Which one said to the other one, ‘Hey, follow me. We’re gonna go out and paint this town. We’re gonna go and get us into some monkey business this morning. Let’s go dog !’

5.  Most neighbourhoods have a lack of parking. My neighbourhood has an over-abundance of parking. I think we may even have one parking space for every man, woman, and child that lives here. At least it seems that way.

Sky: Partly Cloudy
Temperature: 72°F
Relative Humidity: 68%
Winds: E 6 MPH
Barometric Pressure: 30.06 Rising

My thoughts:

1.  God woke me up at around 6:40 this morning, tapped me on the shoulder, told me to get up and take a shower, and then insisted that I get a-steppin’ with my physical walk around my neighbourhood. He wouldn’t let me sleep in this morning and waste away the daylight. I obey Him.

2.  I walked 2.2 miles again this morning - the same as the past two Saturday mornings. I also shaved another minute off of the time that it took me to walk it - just a tad bit more than 40 minutes.

3.  It was quite comfortable outside this morning. It wasn’t really cool (72°F), but it was rather dry (68% relative humidity), so it felt cooler than it really was. In the middle of the Summer South Floridians typically wake up to temperatures right around 80°F with relative humidity readings above 80%. I won’t be walking in that hot and steamy mess !

4.  ‘The cat by the dumpster’ was there again. He looked at me with his sad yellow eyes with no fear. I think if I dropped a few morsels of tasty food by his side then he would have gobbled it all up in a split second and then followed me for the remaining mile-plus of my walk. 10 years later …

5.  Following the walk I eventually ended up at the Dunkin’ Donuts at the northern edge of Florida City for blueberry coffee, a sausage, egg, and cheese croissant breakfast sandwich, and crispier, juicier, tastier oven-toasted hash browns. You just can’t go wrong with that combo. I think that the blueberry coffee (with cream and sugar) is one of the best hot beverages that you can possibly buy for less than two bucks.

Sky: Partly Cloudy
Temperature: 67°F
Relative Humidity: 80%
Winds: E 3 MPH
Barometric Pressure: 30.05 Rising

My thoughts:

1.  I ate a MASSIVE breakfast at the Cracker Barrel in Florida City this morning during the six-o-clock hour. A stack of warm and buttery French Toast was totally drenched in authentic maple syrup and accompanied with scrambled eggs with melted American cheese and hot smoked sausage. P.S. I weigh 165 pounds. 

2.  After the feast I came home to do the walk during the seven-o-clock hour. It was another record-tying 2.2-mile walk, and I did it in less than 41 minutes (compared with 42 minutes last Saturday morning). I guess I walked just a tad bit brisker this week than last week.

3.  During the first quarter of the walk I totally frightened a woman who was carelessly walking her dog. As I walked my continuous straight line along the left-edge of the street a lady walking her dog was approaching from the right-side of the street. She was crossing the street, but she wasn’t looking where she was going. She was looking in the completely opposite direction. Her dog was going nuts, but she was totally oblivious to it. I swerved around her so that she wouldn’t walk right into me, and as I walked behind her that’s when she noticed me. Pedestrians get killed by oncoming vehicular traffic when they pull stunts like that. Ironically, “Wake Up” from KJ52 and Toby Morrell was rockin’ my iPod Shuffle at the time.

4.  I may not have big muscles to show for it, but I am the most physically fit today than I have ever been in my entire life and Life. I am in far better shape today than I was during my late-teens and early-to-middle-20s when I had to run a mile-and-a-half every year in the Air Force.

5.  Tomorrow morning at Life Pointe Church I get my weekly workout from 7:30 AM to 8:30 AM lifting, carrying, moving, and setting up objects in the main lobby of the movie theatre as we transform it into a setting that is suitable for our church family. I’ll be sweating again. It’s all good. It’s all for God.

Greetings Friends. It’s time for the Thursday night edition of ‘Bedtime Stories’ - right here - right now !

TODAY is the 27TH birthday of my little brother’s wife who believe it or not is a proud member of ‘The Chris Day Club’. Ever since she came into my brother’s life she became the ‘Chris’ in my family and I became the ‘Christopher’ (or any of a bunch of other nicknames that my brother has for me). Of course when I refer to her I call her ‘Christina’ because I am the original ‘Chris’. 

My brother celebrates his 33RD birthday in just about 16 days. Hey Bunky send me an E-Mail (or comment this blog entry) with a list of your 3 favourite stores to shop at. Do it as soon as possible so that I can order and send your gift out to you in the mail.

I am reminded that this is the 17TH of the month. It was exactly 11 months ago today that the coolest cat that ever lived with me - Boots - passed on to the Feline Wing of Heaven. He’s hangin’ out with Fluffy and Barney up above now. I will always love you buddy !  You were my best friend for 12½ years of my life.

Next week I’m headed up to Orlando with a few cool friends of mine such as Travis and Paul and Jesse and Alex and Anne J. and Venus. It’s going to be very interesting to return to that place for the first time since my rebirthing. As Pastor Travis loves to say I’ll be ’kicking the devil in his teeth’ and ’shooting him in the eye with a squirt gun’ as I hang out with my new friends at this awesome event in a city that I used to visit on a regular basis for over 13 years during the darkness of my previous life.

Thursdays are MASSIVE blog days for proud members of my blogroll. They know that the ‘Friday Night Blogroll Review’ is less than 24 hours away, so they were on their ‘A’ game today in a dire effort to make the ‘Blogroll Review’ for this week. You can catch it right here on my blog tomorrow afternoon sometime after 4 PM EDT.

I’ve also planned another healthy two-mile-plus walk around my neighbourhood for Saturday morning, so be sure to be there for another exciting edition of ‘The Major’s Walk-A-Thon’.

And so until we hang out again here on this blog I wish you a safe, peaceful, and blessed Thursday night with your loved ones. Thank you so much for being my friend, and for living Life with me on this fantastic journey.

Have a great evening everyone !

It’s nearly 9:30 PM on a Friday night, and that’s a perfect time for ‘Bedtime Stories’ - brought to you by Kentucky Fried Chicken - ‘We Do Chicken Right !’

And tonight’s edition of the ‘Bedtime Stories’ is actually about KFC !

It’s one of the most criticized and ridiculed fast food restaurants of them all. We all do it, but put several buckets of original fried chicken on a table with potato wedges, mashed potatoes and gravy, cole slaw, and biscuits - and watch the crowds of people flock to that table like flies on … (you know what I mean).

We had a farewell luncheon for a well-liked coworker today, and it was kept nice and simple. You should have seen all of us gobble up all of that chicken in record-breaking time. We are a bunch of fried chicken chompin’ maniacs. It was all lip-smackin’ delicious. I also can’t say enough about them tasty potato wedges. I think I ate about 25 of them in all. After the feast most of us came close to passing out on-site. We nearly had to call in the cardiologists. There may have even been a few silent heart attacks occurring. Where’s my Lipitor ?

Speaking of chicken I am reminded about the smartest cat that ever lived (with me) - Boots (1993-2007). That dude was the feline equivalent of me. I taught him everything that he knew. He clearly understood somewhere between 900 and 1,000 words of the English and Spanish languages. One of his all-time favourite words - ‘chicken‘. That cat would go nuts whenever he heard that word because he knew what it was, and he knew that it was the tastiest thing he’s ever eaten.

Back when I ate chicken on a fairly regular basis Boots also ate chicken with me. He was all over me when that chicken was on my dinner plate. He was meowing up a storm. He was pointing to the chicken with his paw. He was smelling the chicken as it went into my mouth, and YES - he also got tiny pieces of chicken to claim as his own. ‘Chicken‘ - just the mere utterance of that word grabbed his undivided attention. He would even wake up from a deep sleep when he heard that word !

And so there you go with my fried chicken themed ‘Bedtime Stories’ for this Friday night. Be sure to catch the blog for more fun tomorrow (Saturday). Have a safe and peaceful night everyone, and until we hang out again remember this:
 

I did not write this book.

It’s time once again for ‘Bedtime Stories’ - brought to you by Ross - Dress For Less.

The Dog, The Cat, & The Rat - Check out this cool video !

Traditional Irish Blessing - In honour of St. Patrick’s Day !

Those are your video ‘Bedtime Stories’ for this Saturday night. Be sure to catch the blog again tomorrow afternoon for another fresh new edition of the ‘Life Pointe Church Sunday Morning Tossed Salad’.

Until then remember this:

It’s Shoe Week At Ross !

Sky: Clear
Temperature: 67°F
Relative Humidity: 100%
Winds: Calm
Barometric Pressure: 29.94 Rising

My thoughts:

1.  This morning most of my walk occurred before sunrise. I walked from 7:17 AM to 7:42 AM. It was a basic 1.3-mile walk around my neighbourhood, but I did so counterclockwise rather than the normal clockwise. I like to take risks like that ! 

2.  The Spring holidays are here. Tomorrow is Palm Sunday, and that leads in to Holy Week including Good Friday and Easter Sunday. I can tell that the holidays are here. A lot of my neighbours are on vacation now. There are a lot of empty parking spaces all around.

3.  I passed an adorable little black cat at the southern tip of my walk this morning that could have passed for a ‘Baby Boots’. Boots was my home buddy for 12½ years from 1995 to 2007. ‘Baby Boots’ looked at me with loving eyes. He just knew that I am a friend of felines.

4.  What an amazing music set I listened to on my iPod shuffle during my 25-minute walk:
- “Breathe You In” - Thousand Foot Krutch
- “Glorious” - Ever Stays Red
- “Nuisance” - John Reuben With Matt Thiessen
- “New Skeptic” - The Fold
- “Strong Tower” - Kutless
- “Live Like We’re Alive” - Nevertheless
- “Awake” - Seventh Day Slumber

5.  After the walk I ventured over to the former sanctuary of Life Pointe Church to help stuff thousands of Easter Eggs with candy in preparation of this MASSIVE event that’s gonna rock Homestead on Good Friday. After that I hung out with most of the prayer group that meets at the original church building every Saturday morning. We all did Lunch together at Loly’s Restaurant in the Old Dixie Center just up the road. It was a great time of fun, food, and fellowship.

Flesh-eating bananas ?

If you receive an E-Mail stating that killer bananas from Costa Rica have been infected by flesh-eating bacteria and have decimated the local monkey population and are now on their way to the U.S. and could be at your local grocery store tomorrow - then don’t believe it. It’s not true. It’s all made up.

There are at least two (and probably more) variants of this particular E-Mail floating around in cyberspace. The Costa Rica banana scare (hoax) actually began way back at the start of 2000. Read all about it. Check out this timeline of ‘The Great Internet Banana Scare Of 2000′.

The Internet is the gift that just keeps on giving. Television has its endless reruns, and so does the Internet. What was a hoax way back in 2000 is still a hoax here in 2008. Bored people like to bring these hoaxes back from the dead, revive them, and pollute our bandwidth with them. They may look new to you (particularly if you’ve never seen them before), but common sense rules here. If it doesn’t sound true then it probably isn’t true, so don’t forward such diatribe. Hit that {DELETE} key !

Sky: Overcast, Windy, Drizzly
Temperature: 68°F
Relative Humidity: 92%
Winds: NW 8 MPH
Barometric Pressure: 30.03 Rising

My thoughts:

1.  At 7 AM this morning it was raining outside (just as I forecasted last night), so in lieu of walking I decided to go eating - at the Cracker Barrel. I enjoyed a MASSIVE breakfast consisting of 4 slices of french toast drowning in maple syrup, 2 scrambled eggs, 2 smoked sausages, hot coffee, and cold water. Now where did I put my Lipitor ?

2.  I got back home at 8 AM, and the rain had ended. I decided to walk the walk. It was the most unusual ‘Walk-A-Thon’ yet.

3.  My semi-basic 1.4-mile walk on a rare full stomach was done so during treacherous weather conditions - with thick dark clouds hanging low overhead, strong gusty northwesterly winds of up to 25 MPH, cold air pouring in, and even a little bit of leftover drizzle on this fresh side of the powerful cold front. I will dream of mornings like this from April through October when it’s hot and sticky outside with no wind.

4.  The ducks were out and about this morning, and they appeared to be lost, dazed, confused, and perhaps even drunk. They were stumbling about, wandering around with no sense of direction, and I saw one of them nearly tumble over in a state of mass chaos. They were wondering why the weather had suddenly changed on them. Some of them probably drank too much (rain).

5.  If my friends and acquaintances from my previous life (not capitalized) saw what I was doing today - walking, talking, laughing, and loving Life (capitalized) then they would think that I am not that same person that I was in my teens, 20s, and 30s. That plastic mannequin withered and rotted away. He died. I was reborn during the Summer Of 2006. I have a whole bunch of new friends now that are walking with me as we follow our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. These are my 40s, and everything I do I do it for God. AMEN !